Does it make you sad?

When you are still living in the present ;
Yet when you think about tomorrow or the future,
It makes you feel like dying or you dreaded it so much.

I don't like facing things or even doubt every possibilities.
Even if its with one single problem,
It makes my head explode or the fear.
I don't know whats wrong or why,
It sucks to deal with things .
& Somehow, each & everytime I will lose.

Just like apple's.


So, Am I being controlled now?
Even at the most serious time,
People take me for granted.
Thinking I'm still a idiot,
But yet its a time where I could burst.
& Somehow, got serious to a disadvantage extent..

& I could say nothing,
Since I have gotten serious in that way,
& I had let them over my head.


Do you know, I have been trying to hold on long?
Just like apple's.
I realised my heart's muscles may be the strongest (:
But,
It still ain't enough huh.

Do you know, when with apple that period,
Of what he said. My heart is squeezing like mad.
Like er 'Keig'. Holding it firm huh(:
But, why does everybody have to shoot about it?
& At that time, I'm proud of myself that I still can smile(:
Do you all know?


Maybe I suck.
To run away at each point.
But I know, if I don't, I can't face you all.
Hahahha. & To a worser extent,
I might go mad somehow.

Like, I'm holding it long.
But everynight, it suck tons huh(:
Hahaha.


People,
There aren't even right or wrong.
So why does everyone tell me,
For whichever things that I choose,
Are always wrong?

& If you really understand so well,
Why can't you see that everything's turning darker?
Why can't you feel,
Its getting emptier?

If thats how you understand,
What if its you?

Can you see how its getting?
How each day is becoming?

& It isn't about grudge,
Every lies are pierced deeply.

Can you see?