i know, i have been fakinq smile today.. everytime..
ytd nite, smt happen.. i was asleep, but when they qurralled,
they nvr failed to woke me up.. everytime they qurralled, i dont know y,
but i would be chao xing.. its everytime & only me. my sis wont be..
i hate it, i preferred sleepinq den hearinq them qurral.
but jus, it jus continued.. i cant help it.. & everytime i heard them qurrallinq,
i would be broken down.. its jus lyk, they are always derh caused of my sadness?

& father, YOU ARE TOO MUCH. derh way you are, are TOO much.
damm fuckinq hell, i wanna tell you smt, I HATE YOU YOU DAMM FUCKER.
wats wronq with you? your work stress?? but mus you put all derh stress,
anger on us? MUS YOU?? seriously, I DOTN WAN YOU AS MY FATHER.
YOU DONT EVEN SEEMS TO ACT LYK MY FATHER. DEN YOU JUS KEEP SAYING AT MAMA??
THINK lah, you jus think bout yourself ALL derh time, but not for derh others.
AND FUCKINGLY, STOP PUTTING DAT LI WHUN IN YOU SPEAKING.
YOU FUCKINGLY SUCK. I DONT EVER WAN YOU AS MY FATHER OK.

they dont know dat everytime they qurralled, i am listeninq & sobbinq..
they dont know.. they dont know they are always derh caused.
AND I HATE THEM FUCKING LOADS. esp cb father.
CANT THEY JUS SHUT UP?!?!? CANT THEY?!?!
AND FINE, I PREFER BEING ORPHAN DEN BEING BORN IN A FAMILY.

but still, there is still another fucking prob.. PLS FWEN, PLS JUS STOP CHANGING.
JUS STOPP ACTING. STOP ALL YOUR FUCKING NONSENCE!!! JUS PLS OK?!?!
I HATE IT. JUS STOP. STOP AS IF YOU WERE LYK DAT BITCH OF OUR CLASS.
STOP IT, JUS STOP PLS!

pls ppl, jus stop all those fuckinq thinqs lahs..
one moment, my life is great. one moment, it is DAMM FUCKINGLY SUCKING.
its always lyk dat.. its always dat way.. IHATEIT.

& seriously, today, i am hidinq it, derh whole day.
i could still afford to fake smiles. but i know, its gonna end soon hurhs??
its getting too...... dam... fuck.
but still, mayb i would continue hidinq it..
i dont wan to affect other ppl mood jus becos of me..
those pain dat derh fuckinq parents & dat friend caused,
i guess i would jus have to hide it? keepinq it..
but still i will vent it out, when i am alone :DD
dats derh best way, to vent out, yet not affectinq other ppl..
i hope i still could hide it, i hope i would... i hope it wont get any worser..

& i realised.. i am afraid of smt.. i dont know what and why...
but jus, i am scared of it lahs... watever...

today skool.. blah... 1st period history...
teacher give worksheet aqain~ but counted part of CA4 de. so do lorhs.
managed to to finish derh whole thinq~ quite ok lahs.
den aft dat is science....

CANT 1E2 JUST SHUT UP? I DONT WANT TO DROP TO NA CAN??
JUS GET OUT OF DERH CLASS IF YOU WANNA MAKE NOISE,
IF NOT I WOULD JUS SLAM DAT BLOODY TABLE ON UR FUCKING FACE.

listeninq to flamingo lesson.. cb 1e2..
aft dat recess.. lots of paiisehh thinqs happen xD & derh library nvr open -.-
so cannot borrow fruits basket~ STUPIDDD. watever..
aft dat go line up, mood is really lyk damm bad...
go bac class, EL. mr said come, go through derh CA3 paper..
get 15/25. passed :D watever... & passed up derh dictionary worksheet,
WHICH I RUSHED DURING YTD NITE!! derh 1st homework dat i spent so much time on xD
aft dat is maths. nid graph paper, but my one is not real derh, is for D&T de.
so wan go bookshop buy, but close liaos -.- wtf, suayy... xD
den do do do lorhs... aft dat is art, teacher nvr come aqain.
so slackinq around lorhs. i forget wat i am doinq liaos..
playinq with letitia bahs xD LOL. :DD

aft dat is CME, teacer come late~ so aft awhile dismiss lerh lorhs.
letitia cant go sectionals.. T.T pangseh me lahs..
heng kengiee got go.. if not mayb i dont wan go liaos..
aft dat go band rm put bag, jiu go eat. blah blah blah~
go bac band rm set up instru, so paiisehh lahs xD lol.
pract abit. a few seniors came also~ den aft awhile modern dance nid use rm,
so we go swinq derh table there sectionals. quite sian lahs, only 3 ppl.
den aft awhile try play play kengiee derh bass clarinet.
quite fun lahs xD but den when play bac my clarinet, very bu xi guan. xD
cos suddenly become small den no nid use as much air as bass clarinet de mahs.

watever.. aft dat strted sayiqn bout derh bbq thinq......
which really, makes my mood superb down. superb. but not bout da bian lahs xD
smt else.. fuck lah dat pu bor. CHEE BYE. FUCKER BITCH.
talk with letitia,
we dont wanna tell her dat we dotn wan her go,
BUT WHY MUS ___ PURPOSELY KEEP WAN BE LYK DAT?? BITCH.
really damm bo mood by den.. damm... bitch...
aft dat pack up, pei kengiee go band rm put her bass clarinte, jiu go home.
took bout 20 mins to reach home sia xD normally is 10 mins,
but walk damm slow today. damm bo mood..................

tmr gort sectionals aqain, i think letitia cant go.. but nvm, jia jia going :D
lol... watever... watever...

pls pls pls ppl, stop all this.. i thought i could control,
but i cant.. I CANT. stop it esp YOU. FRIEND, STP CHANGING TO BE LYK DAT BITCH.
STOP DAT CB FUCKING ATTITUDE!!!!! JUS STOP!
cos one day, i know, i cant endure anymore, i really will slap you..
i hope, dat day wont come.. but really, STOP.

& parents, PLS FUCKINGLY STOP ALL YOUR NONSENCE.
esp father, YOU ARE ALWAYS PUTTING YOU STRESS ON OTHER PPL.
I DONT THINK I WOULD EVER WAN YOU TO BE MY FATHER.
WHICH WOULD CAUSE BAD INFLUENCE ON US?? DAMM YOU, YOU CB FATHER.

but still, i would hide all tis emotions.. i wont affect anyone..
i would keep it to myself.. until derh day when it comes,
everythinq will be pourinq out of me, until i cant take it any longer..

gonna stop here.. buaix...
too much thinqs.. too much.
friend, YOU ARE DERH WORSE CHANGING FWEN I EVER SEEN.
pls jus stop..

& i am afraind of smt.. i cant help it.. i dont know why..
i cant make it stop.. but i hope i will, someday?? hope it comes fast bahs..